my blank page

doesn’t even care about me

the love is in a puddle on the floor

I hate the word NO     I believe in angels

my brothers and sisters all played by the ocean

in Malaekahana every summer as far as I can remember

I remember I love my daughter     I want to farm

vanilla orchids and have dogs and pigs     I will

do anything for my friends    give my limbs & my shirt

I will die if another person hurts me
drop dead like gun shot or machete

I like being alone knowing someone out there loves me

I like sugar, sweet mangoes, hot chocolate,

and long kissing         I am a spirit junky
this is my mother    this is my father
these are my brothers     this is me

this is my sister     this is my memory

so far beyond the ocean     older brothers in an older time
I want to zap people who drive too fast

I feel I’m gonna die when people say “I love you”

I want to move mountains

with my love     does it even matter?
the love that is given?     I wish

I could fish with a cooler and beer and

peacefulness and time for the breeze to carry

away all my wrongdoings
my name means precious lei    kuu lei makamae

I was raped by two men when I was 16 years old
and I still don’t know how I got there

I was almost in this play and wore black tights
Nile Fair was the worst friend I ever had

she gave me fear like a disease

my feet are beautiful

Makamae Murray is a writer and performer from Hawai’i.

Constantin Novaselski

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